And I opened up my eyes, and I am happy now…
One year and four months have passed since I started my Marketing Executive stint in the corporate world. During this time, an ultimate love-hate relationship between me and my job arose: love for my kickass team (Central Marketing Services Group, wazzap!), hate for the company’s cynical culture and teams.
In the beginning, I had high hopes that adjustment was just taking its normal course, that things would change eventually. They did… then they’d go back to how they were. It was a tiring cycle, which permanently etched resignation in my mind. What made me think about this the most is how my faith was negatively affected. Despite learning a lot from my supervisors, turning colleagues into friends, and gaining positive feedback on my performance (both through verbal and monetary means) - I was only occasionally happy, yet I stubbornly stayed because of my unemployment fears.
After being drowned by aggressive pushes and experienced advice, I finally found the courage to pray for a new job. Based on practical and emotional reasons, I established June 2013 as my ‘deadline’ - even without a new company by this time, I would leave regardless. However, one huge question plagued my mind: Is this the same as God’s deadline for me? The thought of being self-dependent scared me. What if my decision did not align with God’s better plan for me?
I prayed for a sign… and it came. During one of the recollection sessions I attended this holy week, the minister said, “Get away from whatever keeps you from Jesus.” Get out of your comfort zone, in spite of the countless fears it may produce, because these fears will never go away. All you can do is accept them, and view them instead as the prize of growth. It will be difficult, but remember that God will be with you all the way. Trust that he will lead you to where he wants you to be, in his perfect time and place. Surrender, and let him give you what he wants, for it is definitely better than what you have for yourself. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his.” (Romans 8:28, NIV)
The message was clear: It’s time to let go. :)